Audio Atrocities (TM) :: Castle Shikigami 2 (Playstation 2)

Every now and again there's a game that's dubbed so badly it's hard not to wonder how it ever got released in the first place. Castle Shikigami 2 is that game. This is the sequel to the game that was curiously renamed Mobile Light Force 2 when it was released here. Why the first game was "2" as well as why they chose to put girls on the cover of the first one that looked like Charlie's Angels while ripping out all the anime art is a mystery. Fortunately, Castle Shikigami's sequel doesn't try to hide it's anime roots and features some rockin' game design sure to please shooter fans.

Unfortunately the stellar game play is chopped up with an unintelligible storyline, sprinkled with sentence fragments strung together seemingly at random, and voiced by humans that appear to have no idea what they're doing. Seriously. The translation is so literal that scenes play out like they're from some bizarro haiku world.

The end result of the dubbing is not pleasant because it's literally difficult to even try to understand the meaning/intention of what's being said most of the time. However, there are enough howlers in here to make this one worth playing. Buy it if you have to, it's only $10!

Exhibit A: “...I like girls, but now, it's about justice.”
Justice trumps interest in girls, and no, he's not gay. Got it.

Exhibit B: “Don't come yet! Don't soil your hands...”
Yes, it's the old mistranslation chestnut, and it's made the leap from light gun games to shooters, this time with the added descriptive (and helpful) admonition not to soil one's hands. And, on a related note here's another naughty utterance.

Exhibit C: “Slaves for fashion dislike bulges.”
Does this mean that female models are lesbians? Or maybe that male models must be eunichs or risk being consumed by self-loathing? As with most of the cryptic dialogue in this game, it's not clear, so you're free to take this as you will.

The Rest:
Haven't had enough? Here's some additional clips for your amusement:
Clip 4, Clip 5, Clip 6, Clip 7, Clip 8, Clip 9, Clip 10, Clip 11, Clip 12, Clip 13, Clip 14, Clip 15, Clip 16, Clip 17, Clip 18, Clip 19, Clip 20, Clip 21, Clip 22, Clip 23, Clip 24, Clip 25

“Don't come yet! Don't soil your hands...”