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Audio Atrocities™ : Clock Tower Ascii/Human Playstation 1998
Ah, Scissorman, how thy blades have been dulled. When this game was released in Japan, and later in the US, it was shocking how graphic the violence was. But, with the advent of Silent Hill, Resident Evil, and all the other survival horror games that have one-upped each other since, the only thing still shocking is the horrendous voice acting. It's bad...really bad.

Fortunately for the players out there, it's a charming class of bad, in with most of the Resident Evils and Winback. And, if the voice acting becomes tiresome, you can laugh at one of the gimpiest bad guys of all. He walks about 3 inches a second, brandishing huge scissors in menacing fashion with menacing music to tell you he's supposed to be scary, not pathetic.

The good news/bad news is that, like House of the Dead, this series has improved exponentially by the third installment. So, if you really want to laugh long and hard at Clock Tower, you'll need to find this chapter or part II. Part III is straight out Survival Horror with not much in the way of gaffe laughs.

Exhibit A: After Scissorman, I ain't scared of no ghosts!
We have a Japanese actor trained to speak proper Engrish reading a script with a character who is NOT supposed to speak proper English. Of course, the non-native speaking actor misses the irony of this and plays it to the best of his ability, which is to say...poorly.

Exhibit B: It's just a hunch, but I don't think he's after me...because he is after you.
It's just a hunch, but I don't think this guy's agent is seeing too much demand for this actor after scintillating performances like this. Bad line, delivered badly.

Exhibit C: Yes, I've had pfha...some training. That means you're an amateur.
Of course, being in a production like this, it's easy to spot amateurs, isn't it? Nonsense line, and another actor from the Dr. Wiley School of Unrehearsed Megaman line-reading recovering from a misread line 'live' that the meth-addled director kept.

The Rest:
Haven't had enough? Here's some additional clips for your amusement:
Clip 4, Clip 5, Clip 6, Clip 7, Clip 8, Clip 9

“It's just a hunch, but I don't think he's after me...because he is after you.”
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