Audio Atrocities (TM) :: Master of Monsters: Disciples of Gaia (Playstation)

Master of Monsters is a fairly old series that spans all the way back to the PC-Engine CD system in Japan. But, just because it's an old series doesn't mean it's necessarily a good series. It IS using the the time-proven SystemSoft hex strategy engine, however.

The PlayStation incarnation here is poor in almost every notable category, including having a bug that makes it impossible to finish the game if your levels are maxed out. Silly names, stupid dialogue, and poor delivery just finish off what was already a lame game. Some of this is funny, most of it is just sad.

Exhibit A: “Myyy name is Gaiaaaaa...”
Psst...PSST! Subtlety might be a good choice instead of OVERACTING everything. The scary part about this line is that it's the FIRST thing you hear when you start the game. You'd think ASCII would want to put their best foot forward in a new game, but I guess they were satisfied with having it in their mouths.

Exhibit B: “Don't let looks deceive you, I have already lived SEVERAL hundred years...”
It's obvious the janitor performing this is really thinking: "I don't act when I need to. I have already had SEVERAL honkin' beers. It's time I rest a while."

Exhibit C: “Mother! Father! Oh, if only I had more power.”
Taken out of context, you would never guess that this is supposed to be an agonized boy witnessing the death of his parents at the hands of monsters. It has all the intensity of some kid whining about dead batteries in his Gameboy.

The Rest:
Haven't had enough? Here's some additional clips for your amusement:
Clip 4, Clip 5, Clip 6, Clip 7, Clip 8, Clip 9, Clip 10, Clip 11, Clip 12, Clip 13, Clip 14

“Myyy name is Gaiaaaaa...”