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Audio Atrocities™ : Robot Alchemic Drive Enix Playstation 2 2002
This giant robot game is the sequel to Remote Control Dandy, the PS1 game that never made it to the US. When RAD was released, the press information stressed that the dialogue was on-purpose cheese. I beg to differ because it's pretty clear that it just turned out really bad and they had to cover. If they did it on purpose, it would have been amusing/campy, but it's SO bad there's no joy in the dialogue. It's so awful that poor Nanao decides to commit suicide to get out of the game rather than carry on to the end. It's true!

I firmly believe that RAD actually stands for Really Awful Dialogue, and the title is some kind of inside joke, especially since the Japanese title of this was Gigantic Drive, which was at least as good, if not a better as a title than RAD.

Exhibit A: The number of dead...has already topped 2,000. Brutal.
A nice example of the tone problems that riddle virtually every scene in this game. A news report intended to be serious followed by the main character saying "brutal" in unintentional dude-speak. Sorta takes the edge off the bad news.

Exhibit B: I'm on my own now. I'm getting by...somehow. Okay
More weird dialogue delivered in the goofiest fashion possible. Nanao confesses that she's basically one step away from teen prostitution and our character responds with "okay", then asks her how she's set for money. Oh, this scene happens in a schoolyard after Nanao's grandma was crushed by evil robots in front of her. Yes, school is in session even when the whole country is under robotic siege. It's no wonder Nanao's storyline ends with her committing suicide.

Exhibit C: ...it appears to be fitted with drills on its arms. Could they be devastating new weapons?
A badly faked Japanese newswoman recites ridiculous dialogue like this, wondering if the huge drills on the arms of the robot that popped in from the sky might be weapons. Dur. If she was a real newscaster, this kind of crap would have put her at the weather desk instead of the news desk, unless she was ugly, in which case she would have been "entertaining" salarymen by the minute in Kabuki-cho.

The Rest:
Haven't had enough? Here's some additional clips for your amusement:
Clip 4, Clip 5, Clip 6


“I'm on my own now. I'm getting by...somehow. Okay”
Copyright © 2003-11 Audio Atrocities™. All videogame images and associated media are copyright (c) by their respective rights holders.