Audio Atrocities (TM) :: Chaos Wars (Playstation 2)

In the year 2008, it's really hard to believe that a game can be released that takes voice acting in console games all the way back to 1990. This game managed to rock a thousand graphs that formerly showed steady progress toward more professional and listenable voice acting in games over the past twenty years or so.

The usual suspects of Atrocious Acting are at play here, but in quantities even bad acting masochists would call gluttonous. Bad writing, nonsensical conversations, bad acting, miscast actors, stumbles, mumbles, miscues, really bad audio production work - it's all present and accounted for. Shortly after release, a number of websites parsed the credits of the game to realize that a fair number of the "actors" in the game were just friends and family of the CEO. This game is living proof and a lasting testament as to why that is a bad, bad, bad idea in almost any circumstance.

For the three exhibits, the focus is on production, grammar and technical gaffes that may require explanation. There's plenty of comedy gold in the additional clips at the bottom, so please check them out as well.

Exhibit A: “...maybe we can sell it at Akiuhbaruh...”
Whoa. Just whoa. No one took the time to see how to pronounce the name of the world-famous Tokyo Electronics district Akihabara in a game that starts in Tokyo? Sloppy.

Exhibit B: “(gibberish kid-speak)”
This clip and ALL the clips by this character are the best example as to why you don't cast small kids as anime characters that may look like small kids. Get a slightly older kid that sounds younger - or, better yet, get a real actor - or at least someone with acting experience. I feel sorry for this kid. What were his parents thinking? I didn't pay $40 to listen to home movies or some kind of family-time reader's theatre from a kid that my parrot can beat in a pronunciation contest.

Exhibit C: “You think I'm a good-for-nothing, right?”
This game is chock-full of weird and/or inappropriate phrasings in English. There's so much bad dialogue and the game uses it so confidently that it's hard not to begin questioning your own grasp of the language and think that perhaps you've learned English wrong. Of course, that kind of thinking isn't usual. But, it can make you hope for something else to listen to badly. Or, you may end up just pulling the sound-alike race card.

The Rest:
Haven't had enough? Here's some additional clips for your amusement:
Clip 4, Clip 5, Clip 6, Clip 7, Clip 8, Clip 9, Clip 10, Clip 11, Clip 12, Clip 13, Clip 14, Clip 15, Clip 16, Clip 17, Clip 18, Clip 19, Clip 20, Clip 21, Clip 22, Clip 23, Clip 24, Clip 25, Clip 26, Clip 27, Clip 28, Clip 29, Clip 30, Clip 31, Clip 32

“You think I'm a good-for-nothing, right?”