Audio Atrocities (TM) :: Cooking Mama 2 (Nintendo DS)

Portable gaming has come a long way over the years. The graphics are better, the controls are tighter, the screens are brighter, but as Cooking Mama 2 makes painfully clear, the acting can still be extremely Atrocious.

This game, charming as it is, has been treated badly. In fact, it would not be an exaggeration to call the treatment the dialogue received in this game rape. There, it's been said. They raped the audio in this game. The woman voicing "mama" in the game isn't practicing her English-as-a-second-language skills, because that might have been passable. No, this is English-as-a-jumble-of-phonetic-phrases delivered with a shot or two of sake.

There's only a handful of phrases in the whole game, and why they weren't just re-recorded with a real English speaker will remain a mystery. Click through the clips below and marvel at the lack of respect for the US audience in this release.

Exhibit A: “Guulaaaia...you gave it yewer bets effer.”
I'm pretty sure this is a valiant attempt at "Great, you gave it your best effort." after throwing caution to the wind and downing a couple roofies as the recording session at the Love Hotel wrapped up.

Exhibit B: “Ooaahoo, a new leckad!”
This is a surprisingly insightful comment on the audio in this game hitting a new low for 21st century game dialogue. New record, indeed.

Exhibit C: “? ? ? ?”
I'll leave it to you do decode this word. It IS English, and it's edible.

The Rest:
Haven't had enough? Here's some additional clips for your amusement:
Clip 4, Clip 5, Clip 6, Clip 7

“Guulaaaia...you gave it yewer bets effer.”