Audio Atrocities (TM) :: Grandia X (Playstation 2)

When a game bills itself as Xtreme in the title, it's usually sage advice to quickly turn and walk the other direction without making eye contact. And, true to form, that would be the recommended course of action here as well.

Grandia Xtreme proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that if you give good or even average actors bad material or saddle them with a poor director, you will get Atrocious acting. The PR spin for this game made a big deal about this game having big-name voice talent like Mark Hamill, Lisa Loeb, and Dean Cain. What they neglected to mention is that these actors are given laughable lines and must have had horrible direction because the result is...well, here, see for yourself:

Exhibit A: “Noooooooo...eeet...can't...BEEE!”
We are fortunate to have the recorded reaction of one of the actors the first time he heard his work in GrandiaX. Despite how he may fervently wish it were otherwise, there is now a permanent record of suck encoded on each copy of the game.

Exhibit B: “Thank you everyone. Thanks to your wishes, I...have been created.”
I don't recall the people of Grandia wishing for a retarded Mary-Poppins wannabe-goddess while I was running around, but that's what they got. Ugh.

Exhibit C: “Shoot through them LIGHTNING!”
Another tedious and stupid battle quote with the sentence structure all messed up. The way it was written it had no chance of ever coming out less Atrocious than it did. I blame alcohol.

The Rest:
Haven't had enough? Here's some additional clips for your amusement:
Clip 4, Clip 5, Clip 6, Clip 7, Clip 8, Clip 9

“Shoot through them LIGHTINING!”