Audio Atrocities (TM) :: The Masked Rider: Kamen Rider Zo (SEGA CD)

TruVideo was the braindead gameplay nightmare SEGA barfed up on the gaming community to quickly pump up the library for their ill-received SEGA CD unit, and to use as a technical showpiece for CD-based gaming. 'Look! We can do video on a game console!' was the push.

Of course, the reality is that anyone who has ever 'played' one of these floaters wants their wasted brain cells back. Kamen Rider Zo is no better or worse than any of the other TruVideo releases. Crappy acting, crappy video, crappy gameplay.

The really sad thing is that it's not even fun as a weirdo Japanese dubbed show viewing experience, if you take the button presses out (as you can after finishing it once). The action scenes are too long, the button presses too infrequent, even on hard. All it leaves for posterity are a few choice clips of terrible writing and acting.

Exhibit A: “What happened? Why are you shaking? Hey Hiroshi, don't forget practice tomorrow.”
Little Hiroshi's lungs are about to explode from exhaustion and terror running from a monster and all his friend cares about is making sure Hiroshi doesn't miss his lesson.

Exhibit B: “A monster! Hey, take it easy pal, we've got you now.”
When you're in a terrible accident and monsters are ruining your life, it's always reassuring to have yakuza medics who know how to put you at ease with soothing phrases like 'take it easy, pal!'

Exhibit C: “Dad back yet? No I don't think so. Oh, he'll show up. See ya tomorrow. Okay, see ya tomorrow. Bye!
You know, seven is tough when your dad's missing, and even tougher when your friends blow off your painful reality and then split. Poor Hiroshi just can't pick friends that treat him right...or ones that sound remotely like a seven or eight year old. ALL the people in this clip are supposed to be seven or eight year-old kids! ALL of them! Messed up.

The Rest:
Haven't had enough? Here's some additional clips for your amusement:
Clip 4, Clip 5

“A monster! Hey, take it easy pal, we've got you.”