Audio Atrocities (TM) :: Last Alert (Turbografx)

The grandpappy of all bad acting in video games. Known as Red Alert in Japan, this was retitled Last Alert and hastily localized to provide something besides Ys and Monster Lair for people to play on the Turbografx-CD. This is a really important point when you realize that the CD unit by itself, sans game system cost $399!

Unfortunately, rushed localization by people who were plucked straight from the "would you like fries with that?" school of method acting was a bad idea. A very small cast did this, and their attempts to disguise their voices are almost as hilarious as their inability to pronounce words in context.

Exhibit A: “People will hate you, Steve, if you're too sting-ee”
This clip is a model of everything that's wrong with rushed recording by people that have no interest in the game itself. The character is supposed to make a crack about the player being stingy (as in doesn't share), but he pronounces it as the nonsensical 'sting-E'.

Exhibit B: “No one can hire my feelings!”
Another example of weird phrasing squeezing square Japanese pegs into round Engrish holes. The bad guy uses hip phrases like "hireling solider" so exquisitely crafted comebacks like "Garcia, no one can hire my feelings!" can be used to our shock and amazement.

Exhibit C: “...Chairman Steve...”
Here, the narrator cites a bunch of the bad-guy names, but "Chairman Steve" stands out like a sore thumb because all the OTHER bad guys like Colonel Kadat, Mr. Lee, Dr. Garcia, are properly referred to using their last names with their title, but in the American bad-guy's name, they used his FIRST name with the title. It should have been Chairman Lloyd because the full name was Steve Lloyd, but that doesn't even agree with the game manual because he's referred to as President Steve Lloyd in the manual. Translation error. I would bet that the text translation was done in Asia, probably Japan, due to these specific kinds of mistakes.

The Rest:
Haven't had enough? Here's some additional clips for your amusement:
Clip 4, Clip 5, Clip 6, Clip 7, Clip 8

“You've shown me some fancy action here. The damages on this ship and the weapons aboard will come to a billion dollars. People will hate you, Steve, if you're too sting-ee.”