Audio Atrocities (TM) :: Shining Force Neo (Playstation 2)

Sometimes it's reassuring to visit a familiar place and have everything just the way you remember it. This is not one of those times. Shining Force Neo is familiar, but in a really bad way. It carries forth the Atrocious tradition of poor voice acting, poor writing, and double entendres - the SAME double entendres from prior localized installments in the series.

But, if there is one thing to be thankful for, it's that we don't have to hear "Now bear my arctic blast" ad nauseum. That headache has been replaced by unintentional gutbusters that are, on the whole, more amusing. See for yourself...

Exhibit A: “Oh no! Something's coming! Oh no! He's going to explode!”
SEGA still hasn't bought the double entendre clue, as evidenced by this simple statement of impending cleanup in aisle 6.

Exhibit B: “This castle looks familiar. A long long time ago it was once called Ancient Castle”
This is an example of the robo-retarded tech that the characters in the game have to guide them. This simple line brings up all sorts of retarded questions like, "If it was named a long, long time ago, isn't that already Ancient times?" and "How neanderthal were the creatures back then to call their (new at the time) castle 'Ancient Castle'?"

I'm assuming what happened here is that the name of the castle literally meant "ancient castle" and was meant to be left in Japanese (kojou = Japanese for old/ancient castle), but the translator/editor(s) had Love Hotel appointments to keep and needed to clean up for the clients, so there was no time to bother with re-reading in English to see how awesomely stupid the line is.

Exhibit C: “Max! Meryl! Why have you come here? I thought I told you to sit still, at home.”
First of all, how long can two kids be expected to sit still at home. And once they've broken the sit still rule, it's just a short hop to complete and utter disregard for authority in favor of a dangerous mission with monsters and money. Besides, this dude sounds like he is fresh from his job as an announcer on afternoon game shows. How were they supposed to take his direction seriously?

The Rest:
Haven't had enough? Here's some additional clips for your amusement:
Clip 4, Clip 5, Clip 6, Clip 7, Clip 8, Clip 9, Clip 10, Clip 11, Clip 12, Clip 13

“This castle looks familiar. A long long time ago it was once called Ancient Castle”