Audio Atrocities (TM) :: Tenchu:Fatal Shadows (Playstation 2)

The latest chapter in the Tenchu series has jumped to SEGA for publication in the US, and while the voice acting HAS improved a bit, it's a long, long way back from the bottom-of-the-barrel voice acting of the first game. Combine that with an inexplicably spastic camera that wasn't present in the first game, and you have the makings of a headache.

The voice acting this time around seems to be a combination of terrible writing and miscast actors. Of course, that led to miscast actors saying terribly crafted sentences. Here...you'll see what I mean...

Exhibit A: “...there ain't nobody that don't know the name of Lady Razor Ogin!”
Hey! Let's make the dialogue more accessible to American audiences by workin' in some bangin' contractions! Ninjas plus double, triple, even quadruple negatives is a can't-miss proposition to make ya all crunk! Uh...well, isn't it?

Exhibit B: “Dammit....daaaaaamnn!”
There's not a whole lot of descriptive swears in Japanese, and the same swear words can be shaded by context to give a different meaning, but there had to be a cooler way for a Ninja to vent frustration in English than this...and this...and this...

Exhibit C: “Man...I...I gotta go pee.”
Gotta...go...pee? This is just SO out of place in an ninja game set in ancient Japan. I mean, couldn't he have said something like "I have need to fertilize the land." or "Little Buddha needs to spread his blessings." or "I must practice my Sho (Japanese Calligraphy) in the sand." or even "After the new moon comes the showers, 'scuse me while I change the season." Anything would have been better.

The Rest:
Haven't had enough? Here's some additional clips for your amusement:
Clip 4, Clip 5, Clip 6, Clip 7, Clip 8, Clip 9, Clip 10, Clip 11, Clip 12, Clip 13, Clip 14, Clip 15

“Man...I...I gotta go pee.”