Audio Atrocities (TM) :: Toshinden Remix (Saturn)

When the Playstation was released and set about mopping the worldwide floor with the Saturn, one of the titles that really helped Sony dominate was Battle Arena Toshinden. Apparently Takara had the presence of mind to realize the cards they held and offer SEGA a run through the Star-On Machine. The result? Basically the addition of a Story Mode that is completely and utterly Atrocious.

There's a limited cast of people voicing this, and the result is about 1000 clips of varying quality - from poor to really poor. Double entendres, bad dialogue, miscast actors, it's all in this game, and whatever the price, SEGA definitely was left crying on the beach while Takara McSony McMonkey McBean drove off into the sunset with a fat wad of cash.

Exhibit A: “...such is the fate of the yukky tribe.”
The yukky...tribe? Okay, so it's probably not spelled like that, but how hard up for names were the people localizing this? How were the other inhabitants of this god-forsaken place grouped? The Caca Clan? The Binky Brood? Doodoo Dynasty? There's a limit to suspension of disbelief, and lines like this broke, smashed...destroyed it.

Exhibit B: “I can't fight you. You look like my grandffpa.”
Yet another adherent to the Dr. Wiley school of unrehearsed line reading comes out of the closet here. It's obvious she wanted to say 'grandfather', but changed it midstream to 'grandpa', leaving us with a crazy nonsense 'grandffpa'. And of course, Ed Wood's spiritual successor said 'Cut!', and kept it!

Exhibit C: “Be? I'm a harmless old man.”
One of the most common abuses of our trust in games is when acting budgets are misappropriated, leaving little to hire proper voice talent, or ENOUGH talent. Sooo, you get cases like this where people do ridiculous 'old men', or grown women play little girls to ill effect. It's definitely Atrocious, and far too common.

The Rest:
Haven't had enough? Here's some additional clips for your amusement:
Clip 4, Clip 5, Clip 6, Clip 7, Clip 8, Clip 9, Clip 10, Clip 11, Clip 12, Clip 13, Clip 14, Clip 15, Clip 16, Clip 17, Clip 18, Clip 19, Clip 20, Clip 21, Clip 22, Clip 23, Clip 24, Clip 25, Clip 26, Clip 27, Clip 28, Clip 29, Clip 30, Clip 31

“...such is the fate of the yukky tribe.”